Kick Shyness

Kick Shyness Goodbye!

I used to be an introvert.

I never spoke to people around me.

It is not that I am the quiet and contemplative type, I simply froze with fear when I am around people. I feel uncomfortable and shy when I need to talk to people. It kept me from meeting a lot of people who might have possibly become my good friends.

A big change happened in my life! These days I never had a problem talking to people and even total strangers. Nowadays, my friends actually describe me as a "showman" whenever I entertain a crowd.

Well, they have other names for me but those terms are not polite, so I will not repeat them here! One thing is for sure, shyness is something that anyone can overcome. The toughest barriers are the ones we set up around ourselves.

So, here are 5 little things you can do to kick your shyness problem. I hope they work for you as they did for me:

1) Realize that speech patterns matter!

To get rid of shyness, you need to kick your speech patterns that sound hesitant, specifically the stuttering and stammering, 5-second pauses similar to dead air, and stuff like that. These speech patterns make you sound unsure of yourself. These cause people to react accordingly and spin off a series of negative reactions from you. This may cause you to withdraw from other people. It is a self-defeating cycle.

Learn the fine and beautiful art of fast talk. If you have something to say, then just say it directly and quickly. Modulate your voice so it will not shake or sound weak.

If you need time to actually think things through, TELL the other person to give you a moment to collect your thoughts. Do not just suddenly go quiet as you think about it. By getting into the habit of speaking fluidly and steadily (regardless if you actually FEEL that way), you will start to learn to interact with people better.

2) Use games and role playing to practice

There are tons of role playing games out there. I know this may sound like a strange way to kick out shyness, but games like Dungeons and Dragons, Shadowrun, and the White Wolf series actually are excellent role playing games.

These allow you to practice your communication skills with the other players. Since it is just a game, any social faux pas that you drop like a bomb will be taken in stride. You can refine your manner of social interaction without fear of making any blunders in the "real" world.

3) Engage in public speaking and friendly debates

Now THIS is for the brave!

Once you get your speech patterns down and can hold a conversation with confidence, this next step allows you to practice speaking in front of a large crowd of people. (shudder!)

More often than not, shy people are actually intelligent introverts. USE that intelligence that you've got in friendly debates! There's nothing more fun than using logic, wit, and barbed sarcasm to fence words with someone of equal skill while a crowd watches and applauds your efforts.

4) Be active in theater and the arts

Taking up theater, or any performance art for that matter like dance or gymnastics, is a great way to work off shyness. In the time span that you are on stage, you are no longer yourself, but you are your character instead.

The classes taught in theater will include drills for self-expression and these will help you overcome stage fright.

5) Love yourself!

Learn to love yourself! Like me before, you are probably the introspective type because you feel that in some way, you are not "good enough" for other people, that you "don't know how" to talk to other people, or you are "not worth it".

You ARE worth it! You just have to realize this.

Everyone is unique. While not everyone is born wise, rich, and good-looking, who CARES? The world is full of imperfect people, and if you look at it that way, then why hold yourself back from mingling with them?

You may just have what it takes to go out there and make other people’s lives a little better, their hearts a little warmer just by being yourself. For sure, they will give the same gift to you, because you are definitely worth it!